10 Things I Hate About CrossFit

10 things I hate about crossfit
by: Ingrid Kantola

In no particular order:

  1. I hate tying my lifting shoes. I don’t enjoy having to change into my lifting shoes in the first place and re-tying them every time is ridiculous. All CrossFit shoes should be slip-ons.
  2. I hate it when I need to communicate during workouts. I never have enough energy to breathe, let alone speak. I like to save my energy for singing along to blonde-pop-star-super-ballads.
  3. I hate out and back running courses. I’m originally a circle runner (track athlete) and “turn-arounds” are inefficient. Especially when the “400 meter mark” is different based on which side of the gym you exit out of.
  4. I hate PVC pipe exercises, especially the front rack. I need weight on the bar to push my body into position. PVC pipes are for pointing, trumpeting, air guitar, and looking official.
  5. I hate mobilizing and warming up. They take forever, and are torture in 100 degree heat.
  6. I hate that I always have to pee right as “3, 2, 1…” counts down.
  7. I hate it when my ponytail hits my jump rope during double-unders. Hair interference should not count as a no-rep. It’s hard enough to keep my hair looking decent without the threat of a high-speed wire attack.
  8. I hate rope burn, rings-strap chafing, jump-rope lashings, rips, hook-grip brown thumbs, burpee floor tans, lunge knee stains, and chalk tats.
  9. I hate it when my shaker bottle explodes and spills because someone didn’t screw the lid on or snap the spout closed.
  10. I hate that “duck walks” are a thing. And that people are expected to do them with weight overhead.

All that hate being said- I still put on my lifting shoes and run the required course. While I might be furious during sessions with the foam roller and obnoxiously sweaty warm-ups, I still do the things I don’t like to do, as they make me better. It’s all part of the process. There is mental and physical benefit to doing the things you don’t like to do and the practice of those things builds good habits. Besides, I realized that the challenge of writing this list with no swear words bred more hate than those 10 things combined.

Special thanks to “The News Crew” Logan Gelbrich, Sam Martin, Armen Amirian, as well as Lindsey Mathewsand Chelsea Lewis for the hate-spiration.

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